Car Soup Dot Com
by I Am Blueberry
Summary: Mirage, still mad at Cliffjumper for believing he was a traitor, gets his revenge by selling him on a human website known as .


**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm back! I'm sooo sorry for not updating anything in, like, a month. Things have been picking up and plus Writer's Block clubbed me in the head, so that didn't improve anything. I hope to update soon, but no promises. Enjoy this wonderful one-shot!  
**

**And for anyone who wants to know, the picture is of Kreon Mirage and Cliffjumper. Cliffjumper: Buddy! Mirage: Ugh! Who invited you?! Photo is copy righted to The-Starhorse**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, but I **_**do**_** own their action figures! **

"What about this one?" Carly asked Spike as she pointed to a picture.

"No, that's too classy," Spike pointed out.

"Okay then, what about that one?"

"What are you? Forty?" Spike joked.

"Well I am on a budget. And seeing as I don't get to ride around in a Transformer whenever I want, I need a car." Spike rolled his eyes.

"If you asked one of the friendlier 'Bots, I bet they would."

"And who do you suggest?" Spike pondered his answer for several long moments.

"Jazz," was his answer, "or Ironhide. He seems to have a soft spot for you." Carly scoffed. "Well…how about Mirage? He'd be fun to cruise in."

"What about me?" Mirage asked as his audiles picked up his name as he passed by.

"Spike I can't ask that of them. They are busy! I just need a simple, eco-friendly, non-transforming vehicle," Carly explained.

"Whatever you say. And to answer your question Mirage, I was merely suggesting to Carly that instead of buying a used car off of , to just ask one of you guys to drive her around."

" ? What's that?" Mirage asked now taking full interest in the conversation. Carly promptly answered.

"It's where humans list cars and other vehicles so other humans can buy them. It's where you can 'buy, research, sell'. At least that's what they have on their ad."

"Intriguing," Mirage stated, deep in thought. "What a wonderful idea."

Neither human noticed Mirage leave, for they gone back to bickering about what car Carly should (or shouldn't) get.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

_Click. Click. Click. _Cliffjumper was roused from his recharge by a funny clicking noise that seemed to be on repeat.

"What the-?" He gained his wits about him to realize that he wasn't alone in the room that he shared with some of his fellow minibots. At first Cliff thought it was Bumblebee messing around. Then he noted that the shadow cast in front of him was much too large to be a minibot. _Click, click. _There was that noise again! Cliffjumper transformed. The 'Bot in the room with him was…Mirage?

"Mirage? What are you doing in here? And why are you producing such an annoying noise?" Cliffjumper asked in bewilderment.

"I am simply testing this new camera Wheeljack invented. Just making sure it's not going to blow up. That would defiantly ruin Blaster's cover." Mirage had his lie at the ready because he knew Cliff would ask why he was taking pictures of his alt. mode.

"I see. Next time can you pick a mech that_ isn't_ recharging," Cliffjumper snapped.

"Yes, very sorry." And Mirage hurried out of the room towards the control room Blaster worked in.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Mirage worked quickly and quietly. He wanted this done as fast and as soon as possible. If any of the 'Bots waltzed in and asked what he was up to, he would be at a loss for words. Typing in the last bit of information and uploading the photos, the task had been done. Cliffjumper had been listed on , and was up until he sold. (It sure was a good thing Sideswipe's bank account wasn't that hard to hack into). Now all Mirage had to do was wait.

Mirage didn't have to wait long. Within the hour the first person looking to buy Cliffjumper emailed Mirage and said he wanted him. Several hours later the man dropped by to look Cliff over.

"Hello?" the man called. "Anyone home?"

"Ah, hello sir." The man jumped when the car next to him transformed into Mirage.

"Yer-you're selling this car?"

"Yes and no. I am simply overseeing the car while the owners are out. If you like it, I am to negotiate a price with you."

"Ah. I do not believe I introduced myself. I'm Henry Stoltz," Henry introduced himself.

"Mirage," Mirage said with a curt nod.

"So this is the car, correct?" Henry asked.

"Yes sir. What do you think?" Henry looked over Cliffjumper; who was in a _very_ deep recharge thanks to a little something Mirage slipped into Cliff's energon.

"May I take it for a test drive?"

"Naturally." Henry opened the door, started Cliff up, and took off. Around ten minutes later Henry returned looking extremely pleased.

"I'll take it!" he exclaimed happily.

"Wonderful! What were you thinking about for price?" So they talked, exchanged stories, and paperwork. After over an hour, Mr. Stoltz was driving away in a drugged up Cliffjumper. Mirage smirked as he transformed and headed back to base.

Once Henry reached home about an hour later, the meds within Cliffjumper had worn off. He was wide awake and completely puzzled by being in such an enclosed space. He transformed. _Good thing I'm a minibot~_ Cliff thought to himself. _Otherwise I'd have "raised the roof" as Jazz would put it._

Just then Henry came back out with wax and a buffing tool. He looked just as stunned as Cliffjumper felt.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Henry asked attentively.

"Cliffjumper. You?"

"Henry Stoltz. May I ask what you are doing in my garage? And where is my car?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing; well not the second question." Cliffjumper sized up the human. He was about the same height and size as himself; not that that was such a hard thing to accomplish.

Henry opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to decide otherwise.

"How did you find me?" Cliffjumper shot at him.

"Online. to be precise," Henry explained. "A robot much like yourself only white and blue sold you to me."

"Wait a minute. White and blue, sold-" Cliffjumper talked himself through it as the blinked on. "Mirage," Cliff stated coldly.

"Yes, I do believe that was the fellow's name," Henry agreed. Cliffjumper growled as his fists clenched. Then something dawned on him. He started to laugh, hard.

"I do not understand the humor in the situation," Henry put in.

"It's payback, karma if you will. I believe you humans like to use the phrase, 'payback's a bitch'."

"Are you saying you did something to your friend Mirage to cause him to seek retribution?" Henry asked lightly as he parked himself on the concrete step leading into his kitchen.

"Yeah. I accused him of being in league with the Deceptions a few months ago. And almost killed him," Cliffjumper added as an afterthought.

"Well," spluttered Henry, "that certainly is a cause for revenge."

"I'd say. Clever," Cliff mused. "Simple, under the radar, yet affective. Why the pit didn't I think of something like this?" Cliff's question went unanswered as he mulled everything over, a slight grin on his face plates. "Well thank you for helping my fellow gain his revenge on me. I must be going."

"What?!" Henry started up as Cliffjumper pushed the garage door up. "You can't go! I don't have a vehicle to get anywhere. That's why I bought you."

"If I know Mirage as I believe I do, your money never left your bank account, therefore you did not purchase me." He was about to take his leave when Henry walked right up to him, face-to-face.

"Then can to help me find another car of some sort?" he begged. Cliffjumper was about to snap no when another thought, or more of an idea struck him.

"If you let me go, I'll send a car over before the night if out," Cliff promised. Henry's eyes bloomed.

"Really? You could do the for me?"

"Certainly."

"Then we have a deal?"

"Yes." They shook hands and Cliffjumper went on his merry way.

**Later that evening…**

"Ah, it's good to be back," Cliffjumper mumbled to himself as he and his fellow minibots watched the larger 'Bots playing a sport known as "football". Eject seemed to be having the time of his life as the ref.

"Where have ya been Cliff?" Huffer asked as he took a long drink from his cube.

"Umm…recon," was his answer. The group watched Sideswipe wander over to them.

"Hey guys, you haven't seen Sunstreaker have you?"

"Nope," said Bumblebee. He cringed as he watched Jazz get trampled by Grimlock. Eject whistled loudly to call a foul.

"Why? Where'd he go?" Windcharger asked as he pulled his optics from the game to see the red front liner.

"Who cares?" Gears punched in. "Good residence I say."

"He must be around here somewhere," Bee added. "Ooh, that doesn't look pretty, does it?" Everyone fixed their gaze on the fight that had begun to take place twenty feet away. Ironhide and Trailbreaker were mashing it up.

"I'm gonna go sort that out," stated Brawn as he went over to break them up.

"Cliff, have you seen Sunny?"

"Nope. I haven't." Cliffjumper turned away so the others couldn't see his dark grin. The humans were right. Payback _was_ a bitch. He could hear him now, yelling at Henry that there was a mistake and he was leaving before he could scuff his paint.

**Author's Note: This was fun to write, though I fear Cliff is a bit out of character. Maybe it happened not to be his time of the month. **

**Anywho, hope ya'll liked it! XD**

**-Blueberry**


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